Subtle Mind or Raucous Mind?

Was not a huge fan of this exercise, funny because when I read through it in the book I thoroughly enjoyed it and was able to easily follow it and focus my intentions. I enjoyed the chapter and the transition from the Loving-Kindness exercise. I have tried the Subtle Mind exercise in place of the Loving-Kindness twice this week, once listening to it and once reading it; reading through it was a bit more effective and I was able to “like” it a bit more then when I listened to it; I felt like I better understood the purpose and procedure. I kept getting a bit distracted and although I was supposed to be honoring thoughts that come to the forefront of my mind and then letting them go, while not holding an extreme focus on my breathing, I kept getting distracted by the music and the long long pauses. So instead of finding the quietness that I was seeking I found myself get agitated with the music and then upset with myself for not being able to focus…a bit counterproductive I’d say :) Even now I am having a very difficult time finding my voice here and focusing on the task at hand. 

I enjoyed pondering this second question, oddly enough my other class this term is EF310- Current Trends in Exercise and Fitness- Aging Well Across the Lifespan, so I have frequently found connections between the two classes. When we have a well-developed physical and mental wellness we can then focus on our spiritual, I say it in this manner because we tend to focus on the physical and mental before the spiritual, not that that is what should be done, I just think that is human nature in our culture, this not being the case in other areas of the world.  The three areas of wellness are intricately connected and cannot exist if all aren’t developed or being developed. I think we all foster one are more than the other two, but all need to be consciously worked on.  For me, I need my spiritual well being to be in check in order for well-being to be able to manifest in the other two areas. By having a solid system of belief in which to rely on, I can help calm my mind and not feel so frazzled or bogged down by worldly concerns.  Especially in recent weeks, I have relied heavily on my spiritual nature to help me work through some concerns and allow me to be able to take care of myself. 

Until next week,

Chris

Inward Gaze and Loving-Kindness

This exercise came at a great time for me, a perfect time really.

I will say, as I am sure I have said before, the idea of Loving-Kindness is one I hold very dear and one that I have worked on cultivating for quite some time now, even though I did not know, or call it such. It has been an extremely important concept and practice for me mainly due to the fact that I have had to learn to “love” a family member for who she is despite her harsh, hurtful, and shameful actions. I will admit I am bitter, this individual is the kind of person that seems to wiggle out of any situation completely unscathed, while I have worked hard to build my life and do the “right” thing and suffer for it many times. Despite how her actions, not once in her years has she been held accountable for her actions, some pretty extreme. But now, I have realized how important she is, our relationship is and want to attempt to build some bridges and restore a connection, she is a link to the past and should be a friend for the future.

This past week I lashed out, very harshly, in regard to this person and her behavior, my expectations of her and what I thought she needed to do. As soon as those words flew out my mouth I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. Although it was very therapeutic, it was something that needed to be said, something I have held back for many many years, as soon as I said it I realized how those words betrayed by actions, my positive intentions and ultimately my striving for Loving-Kindness. I realized that these thoughts or intentions only hurt both the individual, a third party, and myself. It served no real purpose. The individual to whom I said what I said already knew, in his heart, what I said to him, hearing it was in no way, shape, or form beneficial.

It was good to have a structure and guidance in this practice. It helped to truly focus me and allow me to open up to this positive flood of emotion that came with centering my thoughts on the inherent good of people and their potential. I think it is an extremely beneficial practice, one we can all benefit from. In our society we look to blame, we look for faults, that gets us nowhere.

Mental workout is intentional, with a knowledge and understanding of the practices and methodologies to be used, contemplative practice which expands our consciousness and healing potential.

Research focused on the physiological, such as that done by Elmer and Alyce Green at the Menniger Clinic in the 1970’s, shows that we can, with training and focus achieve levels of consciousness that allow us to alter, sustain, and govern our physiologic systems (Dacher, 2006).  Mental training in regard to our psychological and spiritual development demonstrates that we can transform the mind and “reduce disturbing emotions that cause anger, hatred, fear, worry, confusion, and doubt while enhancing positive emotions such as patience, loving-kindness, openness, acceptance, and happiness” (Dacher, 2006, p. 63).

For me overall, I think my implementing mental workouts, increasing my level of awareness and calm or quiet, I can aid myself in expanding my acceptance and understanding of others and help to decrease my stress and pain that comes along with trying to modify or control the craziness that seems to have rooted itself in my life as of late. Maybe by adopting practices to increase my inward gaze I can actually alleviate or reduce my encounters with my common stressors.

Love & Light,

Chris 

Wellness, as a person centered orientation.

I will say, I think there is a lot of truth and strength to “being your own doctor” in a number of ways. It encourages not only becoming more attuned to your bodies unique and individual needs, but also encourages us to expand our knowledge and understanding of those things that may be foreign to us, as well as boost our esteem. It is unfortunate that instead of fostering this tendency to listen to our inner voice, we seemed to be taught the exact opposite.

If I had to rate myself, I would say, as I said in an earlier blog post, where I am now is a far cry from the person I was or honestly, who and how I considered myself to be. Taking a personal inventory I am ashamed at how open I have left myself to this type of change and how I abandoned all I knew and trusted, in order to succeed at what needed to be done.

 In some areas such as physical I have made enormous improvements over the past year or so and would put myself at or around an 8.5. I have removed all processed foods from my home, all chemicals, perfumes, dyes, etc. We make all body care/beauty items, household cleaners, air fresheners and candles from scratch, we grow a lot of our own vegetables and only eat grassfed/free range meats. I am back to a balanced aerobic/flexibility/weight training routine and so our diet and lifestyle in this manner is pretty close to perfect in how I wanted it to change.

Psychological, I’d say about 6, maybe a 7. I have been making consistent strides to calming my mind and returning to a much more positive and friendly place in myself. Stress is a big issue, trying to work so that in areas I can control I do manage it and eliminate the stress, allowing for ease of care and tolerance of areas in which stress is quasi inevitable. Changed jobs, back in school, reduced excess duties outside the home, all in all better.

Spiritually, this is where I currently struggle the most. This has always been my strongest area of development. I exuded a sense of confidence in spirit that was unparalleled. I felt a force swirling within and around me at all times and had what I thought was a rock solid faith and spiritual belief structure that I honestly cannot pin point where or when I “threw it all out the window”. Yes, I still do believe in something akin to faith but I challenge it more now than I did as a defiant youth. I think the state of the world, the duality of what I want for myself and my family, and for what seems to be required just to succeed is the major force behind my spiritual unrest. It is a great challenge for me to rectify these two areas.

                As for goals and activities, I would say I need to work more of strength training for myself, I want to be able to do set of 10 pull ups. I want to be able to not struggle as much rick climbing and feel more confident when I have my three year old with me when we are out traipsing around the rocks! I have found a great program by Mark Sisson to work my upper body strength and am now following that. For psychologically and spiritually, I know what I need to do, it is simply a matter of getting myself to do it. I know I NEED to meditate, I need this time to reflect and bring myself inwards. It is an abandoned practice for me and even doing these guided exercises for class makes me angry. I am very resistant to them and cannot say I am ready to completely get in touch with some of these baser emotions and wade amongst the monsters of my unconscious and wrangle them. My goal is for 15 mins of “good” meditation time/reflection 3 days per week, and journaling at least 2 days for week for a period of 30 or more mins. I know this can serve as the gateway to better practices for myself. 

Chris

Welcome!

This blog serves as a vehicle for "critical" thinking, self expression and positive light to all those involved. I wish all who visit here to "come on in, sit on down and feel free to join in and share"

Some of you may be wondering what Sanotherapy is. It is, for me, a focus on a  model of medicine I wish to see more of, learn more about and be able to willfully practice. Sano means "wellness" in Italian, so for me Sanotherapy simply is "Wellness Therapy"

Blessings and Light,

Chris

Journey On Relaxation exercise

For many year, about eleven, I was an avid fan of relaxation exercises and was a yoga/expressive dance fanatic. I practiced regularly, read every book I could get my hands on in relation to relaxation and visualization techniques and traveled as far as feasible to hear lecture on the subject and participate in group guided exercises. I felt I was not whole if I didn't practice regularly, I felt lost, incomplete. Yoga was an integral part of my identity, I lived, breathed, and acted in the ways of the sages and felt I imparted good upon all those I came in contact with in doing so. This all stopped about ten years ago. I had a radical change in my life and somehow, for unknown reason now when I look back on it, gave it all up. 

One day I simply stopped practicing, I Stopped Believing. In essence, I abandoned myself.

 A large part of who I was and why I acted as I did was discarded, never to be revisited until I had to sit through the fourteen or so mins of this guided exercise. I can be very unforgiving of myself, I tend to make radical and mostly harsh decisions and do not waver on them, this exercise challenged me to let go a bit, give in, and return to a former version of myself. 

It. Was. Brutal. I had a very rough time sitting through this. I found myself challenging the validity of the practices, assessing physiological reasons behind the "heaviness" and looking to quantify why and how these procedures effected people, namely me. It made me angry. I let it play through once. I went back again, cup of coffee in hand to try to bring myself to a calmer plane of existence and challenged myself to not let this exercise destroy my fortress of strength that has been built up to deal with daily trials and tribulation in my life over the past 9 years. It was truly a "smack in the face" for me, a revelation that although what I do works to keep things in check, it is a very...very..VERY far cry from healthy coping mechanisms. I can be and deserve to be a much more enlightened and positive light in this world, I pride myself on that, now is the time to get back and be that person. Strong, resilient and enlightened. 

Blessings,

Chris