I will say, I think there is a lot
of truth and strength to “being your own doctor” in a number of ways. It
encourages not only becoming more attuned to your bodies unique and individual
needs, but also encourages us to expand our knowledge and understanding of
those things that may be foreign to us, as well as boost our esteem. It is unfortunate that instead of fostering this tendency to listen to our inner voice, we seemed to be taught the exact opposite.
If I had to rate myself, I would
say, as I said in an earlier blog post, where I am now is a far cry from the
person I was or honestly, who and how I considered myself to be. Taking a
personal inventory I am ashamed at how open I have left myself to this type of
change and how I abandoned all I knew and trusted, in order to succeed at what
needed to be done.
In some areas such as physical I have made enormous
improvements over the past year or so and would put myself at or around an 8.5.
I have removed all processed foods from my home, all chemicals, perfumes, dyes,
etc. We make all body care/beauty items, household cleaners, air fresheners and
candles from scratch, we grow a lot of our own vegetables and only eat
grassfed/free range meats. I am back to a balanced aerobic/flexibility/weight
training routine and so our diet and lifestyle in this manner is pretty close
to perfect in how I wanted it to change.
Psychological, I’d say about 6,
maybe a 7. I have been making consistent strides to calming my mind and
returning to a much more positive and friendly place in myself. Stress is a big
issue, trying to work so that in areas I can control I do manage it and
eliminate the stress, allowing for ease of care and tolerance of areas in which
stress is quasi inevitable. Changed jobs, back in school, reduced excess duties
outside the home, all in all better.
Spiritually, this is where I
currently struggle the most. This has always been my strongest area of
development. I exuded a sense of confidence in spirit that was unparalleled. I
felt a force swirling within and around me at all times and had what I thought
was a rock solid faith and spiritual belief structure that I honestly cannot
pin point where or when I “threw it all out the window”. Yes, I still do believe
in something akin to faith but I challenge it more now than I did as a defiant
youth. I think the state of the world, the duality of what I want for myself
and my family, and for what seems to be required just to succeed is the major
force behind my spiritual unrest. It is a great challenge for me to rectify
these two areas.
As for
goals and activities, I would say I need to work more of strength training for
myself, I want to be able to do set of 10 pull ups. I want to be able to not
struggle as much rick climbing and feel more confident when I have my three
year old with me when we are out traipsing around the rocks! I have found a
great program by Mark Sisson to work my upper body strength and am now
following that. For psychologically and spiritually, I know what I need to do,
it is simply a matter of getting myself to do it. I know I NEED to meditate, I need
this time to reflect and bring myself inwards. It is an abandoned practice for
me and even doing these guided exercises for class makes me angry. I am very
resistant to them and cannot say I am ready to completely get in touch with
some of these baser emotions and wade amongst the monsters of my unconscious and
wrangle them. My goal is for 15 mins of “good” meditation time/reflection 3
days per week, and journaling at least 2 days for week for a period of 30 or
more mins. I know this can serve as the gateway to better practices for myself.
Chris
Guided Exercise reflection.
ReplyDeleteSorry guys, I had posted earlier but my sound card went out on my comp and I had to attend to take before finishing this up :)
I will say I did enjoy this exercise. Part of that was the fact where I decided to do it. I sat in my local Barnes and Noble, took a break from some other work and did this exercise, I did not seek a quieter environment, I did not concern myself with odd looks from people or seeing someone I knew. I just did it, for myself, no inhibitions, just did it. It was quite liberating. I felt truly alive for a brief moment a genuine connection to a past version of myself. I did disagree some with the body/color locations and associations but overall went with it-not exactly typical chakra locations and associations, but like I said I need to learn to let go a bit. I thoroughly enjoyed the tingly sensation, however brief, it brought back some good memories for me.